What To Wear to a Funeral: A Woman’s Guide to Dressing with Respect

Attending a funeral or memorial service can be an emotional difficult and challenging experience. During this solemn occasion, the clothing we wear will convey respect and reverence for the deceased and their grieving loved ones. 

For women, selecting an appropriate funeral outfit requires care and consideration. Although funeral fashions have modernized over the years, there are still some traditional expectations to consider regarding colors, styles, and accessories.

In this guide, we'll explore key factors for choosing dignified attire for women who honor the deceased while supporting bereaved family and friends. We aim to help ease the stress associated with selecting appropriate attire for women during these occasions.

Tip: Keep it Classic

Although funeral fashions have modernized over the years, there are still some traditional expectations to consider regarding colors, styles, and accessories.

Remember, conservative dark colors, ample coverage, and avoid embellishments or patterns to keep funeral fashion respectful. Seek classic silhouettes in solemn fabrics. Most importantly, try to dress to convey your condolences.

How to Select the Right Funeral Dress

For decades, traditional etiquette dictated black attire for funerals. While dark hues remain prevalent, modern sensibilities are shifting dress codes. Check out The Death Network’s Pinterest board for updated funeral attire ideas.

Classic Options

• The timeless little black dress remains a reliable choice, ideally knee length or longer in a dark, solid color.

• Button-up cardigans or solid blazers can provide additional coverage for arms and shoulders.

• For those preferring pants, a black trouser suit or jumpsuit exudes sleek sophistication.

• Complete the look with hosiery and closed-toe black heels for a polished appearance.

Consider the silhouette, fabric, color, and coverage when choosing a funeral dress, ensuring it aligns with the service's formality and solemnity. Choose physical and emotional comfort by trying on dresses beforehand to ensure a flattering fit. Seek out breathable natural fabrics to stay cooler under black layers.

The Role of Accessories

Accessories serve both aesthetic and practical purposes when dressing for a funeral. They allow personal expression while complementing our attire's dignity and decorum.

Shoes

Shoes complete your funeral outfit with some essential finishing touches. Select plain pumps, loafers, or boots in black, navy, or brown polish. Avoid open-toed casual sandals or noisy high heels. 

Handbag

Carry a leather handbag or clutch in a dark, neutral color. Decorative buckles, hardware, and embroidery should be minimal.

Jewelry

Jewelry should be simple and non-distracting. Small stud earrings, a thin necklace, and a watch are appropriate. A small brooch can add subtle sparkle to dark suits or dresses. Funerals are not the occasion for large statement necklaces or jangly bracelets.

Makeup

Keep it natural and understated. Dark nail polish and heavy perfumes can also be distracting. Focus should remain on the deceased and grieving family.

Handkerchief

Handerchiefs can hold significance in graveside rituals. Tuck a small black or white linen square into a pocket or handbag to dab tears and blow noses quietly.

DIY Funeral Attire on a Budget

Creating homemade funeral clothing allows personalized expressions of grief. With care and creativity, DIY outfits can prove meaningful tributes.

Utilizing Items from Your Closet

You can create funeral-appropriate outfits from items already in your closet. Dig out that go-to little black dress or pencil skirt. Pair it with a dark sweater or blouse. A black blazer dresses up simple tops or dresses. Accessorize with neutral heels and a leather bag. Keep some opaque black tights on hand for chillier weather.

For a dressier look, don scarves, shawls, or suit jackets in black, gray, or navy. Wear dark trousers-pants or skirts with a modest dark blouse. A long-sleeved black sheath provides a sharp base for dress coats and statement necklaces in mute tones. Selectively mix and match with your existing wardrobe and keep the overall look subtle and conservative.

Honoring the Deceased with Upcycled Items

Upcycle sentimental fabrics from the deceased's belongings into a memorial dress or accessory. Stitch their necktie into a sash, pillow, or heirloom piece to keep their memory close. Or, print portraits onto silk scarves to tie on as remembrance pieces.

Crafting Bespoke Mourning Wear

Sew bespoke mourning wear using the deceased's favorite colors or patterns. Handcraft funeral flower brooches featuring their preferred blooms. Knit, embroider, or print cherished quotes onto shawls or handkerchiefs for comfort.

How to Dress for Different Funeral Services

Your outfit choice may vary based on the type of funeral service. If you’re unsure, ask a friend or family member for advice before attending the funeral.

Visitations or Wake Services

• Dignified black dresses or dark separates still work well.

• Swap heels for flats and accessorize modestly.

Memorial or Celebration of Life

• Opt for a muted print dress or add a touch of color with a bouquet pin or scarf.

• Bright solids and florals may be appropriate if reflecting the deceased's colorful personality.

Casual Memorial Services

• Allow slightly more versatility in funeral fashion.

• Maintain reserve and align with the family's wishes for subtle colors or joyful celebration themes.

Aim for a balance that honors the deceased without drawing excessive attention. Follow the host's guidance while letting genuine grief and community support shine through.

Seasonal and Weather Consideration

Weather often influences funeral attire choices. Prepare thoughtfully for services in freezing winters, sweltering summers, rainy springs, or crisp falls.

Summer Funerals

In summer, lightweight black dresses or dressy short-sleeved tops provide a cooler option. Choose breathable fabrics and tread carefully in heels while walking on grass. 

Colors & Prints

While black is the go-to color for funeral attire, it’s OK to wear darker tones like navy, forest green or charcoal. Geometric or small floral prints are acceptable for funeral attire as long as they aren’t overpowering.

Want to know more about summer funeral attire? Read our latest article!

Winter Funerals

During the winter, wear warm layers like wool coats, tights, and closed-toe shoes. Overcoats, hats, and gloves should match the rest of your dark-neutral outfit.

Be prepared for rain or snow with weather-appropriate boots, shoes, and an umbrella. Bring shoe options to accommodate both outdoor burial sites and indoor services. 

Spring & Fall Funerals

For spring showers, pack umbrellas and bring a dry sweater or jacket. 

For fall, opt for dresses with sleeves and dark tights. Always have a coverup like a shawl or jacket to accommodate fluctuating temps.

Above all, put sincerity before style. Avoid shivering or sweating in unsuitable outfits.

Cultural and Religious Influences on Funeral Attire 

Cultural background and faith practices will help shape funeral wear selections. You will show resepct by honoring the decease's wishes and culture. 

• Chinese Culture: Red should be avoided because it traditionally symbolizes luck and happiness. Instead, white, blue, or black ensembles are considered more appropriate and respectful.

• Hindu Traditions: White clothing represents purity and holds significant importance in Hindu funeral rituals. It is traditionally worn by mourners to pay homage to the departed.

• Muslim Customs: Women attending Muslim funerals typically wear headscarves as a sign of respect and modesty. This practice is deeply ingrained in Islamic culture and demonstrates solidarity with the grieving family.

• Indigenous Cultures: Indigenous cultures often incorporate ancestral patterns and garments in their funeral attire, reflecting the community's rich cultural heritage and connection to their roots. These garments hold deep symbolic meaning and honor the legacy of the departed.

• African American Communities: African American communities incorporate vibrant colors like purple and gold into funeral attire to symolize royalty and celebration. These colors reflect a joyful tribute to the life of the deceased.

• Jewish Practices: Jewish mourners may refrain from wearing makeup and jewelry to funerals as a sign of respect for the deceased. This practice aligns with Jewish traditions and customs surrounding death and mourning.

• Christian Denominations: While black is often associated with mourning in many cultures, some Christian denominations prefer guests to wear brighter hues instead. This choice reflects a celebration of the deceased's life rather than solely mourning their passing.

If you are unsure what is customary, you can ask the officiant or funeral director for clarification. They can clarify any dress code details or expectations. Above all, ensure your funeral attire aligns respectfully with cultural traditions and religious significance.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

When picking out funeral outfits to wear, avoid these common mistakes:

• Excessively revealing or short dresses. Stick to knee length or below.

• Bright, showy colors and prints that distract from the solemnity. Muted solids or subtle patterns are best.

• Casual fabrics like jerseys, mini dress styles, or distracting details. Seek out structured dresses or suits.

• Sleeveless or strapless styles. Opt for at least a cap sleeve style. Have a coverup on hand.

• Flip flops or worn-out athletic shoes. Closed-toe leather or suede flats are ideal for comfort.

• Oversized purses or bags covered in logos. Carry simple leather clutches or totes.

• Large, flashy costume jewelry. Keep accessories minimal and understated.

Remember, conservative dark colors, ample coverage, and avoid embellishments or patterns to keep funeral fashion respectful. Seek classic silhouettes in solemn fabrics. Most importantly, try to dress to convey your condolences.

Are Capped Sleeves a No-No at a Funeral?

Better to be safe than sorry and bring a cover up just in case! If the service is on the traditional side, exposed upper arms may be off-putting to the surviving loved ones and other guests.

Plus, if you’re attending a funeral service at a church or funeral home which tend to be on the cooler side you may want an extra layer.

The Death Network’s Key Takeaways

To quickly summarize key tips for selecting funeral attire as a woman, here is a cheat sheet from The Death Network:

• Stick to dark, muted solid colors like black, charcoal, navy, or dark brown. Avoid bright hues.

• Select a conservative, modest dress or pantsuit style. No low cut or sleeveless options.  

• Choose plain, dark accessories - bag, shoes, coat, hat, etc. Skip loud jewelry.

• Cover bare legs and shoulders, especially for traditional burial services.

• Pick fabrics like wool, cashmere, crepe, or polyester blends - not silk or sequins. 

• Check with the family for any culturally specific clothing guidance.

• Accommodate weather needs while staying respectful.

If in doubt, always err on the conservative side or check with the grieving family.

Selecting funeral clothing during times of grief can bring additional stress. However, we hope our tips empower you to choose outfits that align with cultural traditions and family wishes. Your presence is the most important way to show heartfelt support. In the end, remember that your presence and support truly matters the most during this difficult time.

Written by: Yvette Parker