Death Drawings
I don’t cope with grief well, especially in other people. I feel other people’s emotions too strongly. To avoid crying with them, I tend to make terrible jokes that are often poorly received (understandably). I do not know how to help people who are actively grieving in front of me. I am awkward and uncomfortable on the average day, and heightened emotions increases the awkwardness. I want to help though in whatever way I can, no matter how awkward I am.
Ever since I can remember, I have drawn pictures. I saw the joy in my parents’ eyes when I handed them my latest piece. It made them happy. This little hobby of mine escalated quickly and soon everyone was getting a drawing. Everyone loved my artwork! (so my five year old brain told me). When people were sad, I drew to make them happy.
When I draw a picture for them, I take the time I am drawing to reflect on the person or pet who has died. I reflect on what was lost. It gives me a way to sit in my grief and process.
- Elaina L.
So to cope with my grief and other’s grief around me, I did the only thing I knew to bring others joy. I drew a picture. Now, while this might seem like a nice gesture, I feel like it is less cute coming from a full-grown woman than it was coming from a five-year-old. But I truly don’t know what else to do sometimes. When a person or a pet dies, I draw a picture of them or something that represents them. For example, I drew my grandpa’s fireman captains hat and badge.
When someone is grieving, I grieve with them whether it’s because of sympathy or because I lost someone too. When I draw a picture for them, I take the time I am drawing to reflect on the person or pet who has died. I reflect on what was lost. It gives me a way to sit in my grief and process.
Grief looks different for everyone. Everyone reacts to grief differently. For me, I draw. I draw to feel like I’m doing something to help. I draw to show I care. I draw to grieve. While I don’t think everyone who has received a death drawing from me appreciates it as much as I hope, I know a few of my pieces have really touched people. Some of my art can even be seen on a few headstones.
I don’t know if I will ever stop making death drawings. I just finished my latest piece today. Maybe someday I won’t have a death drawing to make. Maybe someday I will try drawing more living people.
Elaina L.
